i feel bad for these kids who are like 12 or whatever and have bfs/gfs that say they will be together forever...they havent learned the lesson that u have to be mighty lucky to find ur soul mate at 12 and i mean u can be 14 and feel that way and by then u have a better perspective but u arent mature still..im not mature i still have learnin to do i do kno that life flys by and u just gotta learn things the hard way, like it or not.

one year ago today i REALLY liked someone...i thought it was love at the time and i still think it was cuz i still like him some but that was in the past..i just wish that at that point i coulda looked into the future and saw that me and him wouldnt have been together then i woulda saved alot of hard times (maybe) and i wished i coulda knew that i would make it thru the summer without him and i would get thru the first couple of weeks of HS just fine...and that i can do this w/o his help..ive got my friends and THEY are the ones that really love me back

ok you know those life lessons that u have heard of but u never understand them till it happens to you..

life is hard.."goin thru some hard times but be thankful for the good times" but when im angry and sad i tend to think everything is wrong and happenin to me but i dont see the other side..its not just me hurtin i mean im soo well off and i dont even realize it i mean there are alot of people that dont have what i have and would do anything for it and i just pass by it like any ordinary thing. i always thought that everyone was gettin someone that loved them and its soo easy for them but there are people that feel the same way as me so why do i think that im the only one? and cali knos that im the kind of person to not really expect the good things out of life/relationships cuz when it dont happen, its easier to get over i learned that the hard way but like cali says it will just pass by if i act like i dont care..and it will.why is it so hard for me to open my eyes and see whats happenin in front of me? why do i wait and keep things inside till its too late i mean if you really look around, the people that are in relationships are the people that up front said "i like you" and the other person felt the same and even if they dont like..atleast you dont have worry if they like you or not and i kno i should listen to my own words cuz im a hypocrite (?) and i kno its the easier way but it aint always that easy..im one of those people that is insecure about things cuz i was never one of those that was very popular so i figured no one liked me but im beginnin to find out that that aint always true now is it? and i also kno that just becuz on the outside someone is laughin and smilin that that doesnt mean they are doing so on the inside..they could be cryin so we just assume everyone and everything is ok. some people hide their issues better than others and when ur like wats wrong they say nothin and i also believe people that ask whats wrong are the ones that really care whats wrong and care for you or they are nosy..thats another thing, we all need to recognize who our real friends are and who are the ones that are just using us i mean is it right to abandon ur friends for things that wont be there for you. a couple of days ago someone said that u will forget about ur highschool friends but the college ones stay forever, u may keep in contact with a couple of highschool friends but not like college friends..now i dont want that to happen to me cuz now my friends are my life line honestly, no joke. i couldnt live without them. my true friends and i will always keep in touch even after we graduate in 4 years *tear* i mean college friends are gonna be fun but one of my teachers said that she liked college better or college friends because u can find people like u with ur similar interests and she said that in HS u have to pick from this tiny group and i thought well thats true about college but my HS friends are everything to me i mean we wouldnt be friends if we werent somewhat alike and shared the same interests i mean if we were totally different then we wouldnt be friends i mean i see friends as someone u can be urself around and at school there is this pair of friends where amelia is best friends with lorin and she would do anything for her (of course i mean typical friend relationship right?) but where the story turns is where lorin has amelia wrapped around her finger i mean she orders amelia to do anything, if lorin is walkin with a guy, she orders amelia to go walk with someone else up in front of her so lorin and the guy can talk and i mean amelia has to be her alarm clock and i mean lorin is really nice but that aint right and i get mad and i hate to say it but i get mad at amelia too and i kno that it sounds mean of me but its true and by no means am i sayin amelia should forget about lorin cuz they are best friends and best friends are hard to find but i mean that aint friendship... so i guess next time u see someone laughin and smilin, dont assume everything is perfect..when ur down, dont assume ur the only one with something wrong...find out who ur real friends are and who cares for you and keep them forever cuz when ya need a shoulder to cry on..guess who will be there..im learnin this stuff out as i go and sure ya have to learn it the hard way but will u remember it if u dont learn it the hard way?

i havent wrote in here in awhile...ive had drivers ed and other things but ill fill ya in..we have about 1 and 1/2 weeks of drivers ed..we dont have it on fridays and we missed two days so he is extendin the class two days but its all good cuz i dont really care to go to afterschool anymore because i broke up with dalton...yea i need to be free and flirt with other guys..we have a home football game tonite and a dance but i dont wanna go to the dance cuz its boring..im goin shopping tomoro and o yea i get a car for my bday! (the one ya see in the pic) but my bday is in 2 mths..lol well thanx for the comments n props while i was gone...talk to yall l8r