November 8, 2003

• my birthday party is supposed to be in 2 weeks and im thinkin about not having it..i figure what does it matter i will just let everyone hang out with their ONE and ONLY best friend and i can sit here eatin a big cake by myself.  Afterall it is my fault that i dropped the whole "best friend" thing last year. i have some friends that are like yea i dont do that anymore but they really do and i have one friend that on this questionaire thing last year i put i have no best friend and so she put another gurls name that they are like best friends now. my old best friend (lets call her friend number 1) has a new best friend which is kinda good cuz she wont complain to me all the time and my other friend (lets call her friend number 2) is doin somethin else with her best friend which i was kinda invited too but didnt go cuz my bro mentioned somethin bout the mall but we ended up not goin which is ok cuz it made me think n find out stuff ya kno and plus its not the same with 3 ppl instead of 2 im sure so they can have fun by theirselves. so im guessin why not drop the birthday party cuz ppl will hang with their friends instead of me cuz i feel like i cant invite one person without inviting their other and it sucks cuz shouldnt i be excited?! my mom said somethin today that i was like yea...while i started bein really good friends with friend number 2, friend number 1 was hangin out with another gurl which is now i guess her best friend or whatever. and while i was soo close with friend number 1, friend number two got to kno her best friend. and if i dont have a party...sorry to the guys that never really left me out n stuff...i mean dont get me wrong, my 2 good friends dont really leave me out, they just hang out with their other really good friends. i mean if my 2 good friends were hangin out with me all the time then their other friends would be feelin the same way i am right now so its fair its just not fun. its gettin worse tho i mean now they arent always there to talk too. i guess i feel friend number 1 is more like a sister and im not always the best friend to her i mean its definately not like last year cuz thats when i started hangin out with friend number 2 but now in HS they are hangin out with their best friends alot more which is cool i mean i cant have a prob with that cuz that would be really selfish its just maybe i shoulda never stopped bein best friends with friend number 1 its just we dont even have that much in common now and she gets on my nerves. but friend number 2...we have alot in common but it doesnt matter now. so back to the party..i have till wednesday to decide cuz thats when i will be passin out invitations and im probly second thinkin this right now cuz im kinda mad at some of my friends and maybe monday i wont feel this way..maybe i will we will just have to see.. i guess the moral of this story if if you are truly best friends then u probly always will be just dont go and try to be friends with someone else without knowin that they probly already have a best friend and that ur old best friend will find someone new.

  • 7:29 pm
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